I haven’t filled out a job application in about 7 years. That was the case, until yesterday. Ever since I got a camera, I knew that this was what I was supposed to do. Not only to showcase my passions, but to sustain my financial way of living. I knew it was going to be a struggle from day one, but I wanted to be some sort of creative.
Now, on the internet, I’ve created a glamorous persona. Often times, people see me go from place to place, coast to coast, showcasing a spontaneous and adventurous life. To which is very real, and not a “show”, because I am very fortunate to live the life I lead, but it has its setbacks that aren’t often seen.
We as people, who are in my age bracket (I refuse to say millennials because I loathe the term with my whole being) don’t do the best job sharing our setbacks, and tend to shine light to just the positive. I’m an avid believer in learning from others and what they are walking in, whether it’s their successes or failures, which is why I try to be as transparent with my life as possible in my writing.
Now, I moved to Minneapolis thinking I was going to wheel and deal with these big clients, make good money and continue to post sweet things on the internet. Which at first seemed to be the case. Then emails didn’t come in. The phone stopped ringing and my confidence began to diminish. I began to get scared. Did I make the wrong choice somewhere?
After I filled out a job application the other day, I was hired on the spot. I wasn’t stoked. I became very insecure, and I began questioning a lot of the decisions I have made in my life.
I got in the car to head home, and all these lies began to pour into my head. “How do you expect to support a wife someday? How will you support a family. You’ve wasted your life. What you do isn’t a career.” And I began feeding into them and letting my attitude change. I started feeling sorry for myself, thinking I was too good for a day job.
Now there comes this moment, where the Lord breaks in. Sometimes it’s very subtle and you have a choice. Continue to be lied to, or choose to posture your heart differently. A split second went by, and all of a sudden I shouted in my car “God I trust you”. I knew at that moment, I needed to just worship the Father. Carry my sad self into the presence of the Lord and let him have his way with me. I hit shuffle on a worship playlist and my good buddy William Matthews song Hope’s Anthem comes on. In that moment I was reminded who was in control of my life, and it wasn’t me.
The Chorus of the Anthem is this “My hope is in You God, I am steadfast, I will not be moved, I’m anchored, never shaken, all my hope is in You.”
After I began worshipping God, I became more thankful for the blessing I was about to receive. My outlook changed and I became grateful for what I have than what I didn’t.
One of my favorite bible verses is Phillipians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
The two emotions that mess us up the most is Anger and Fear. You can’t be thankful and Angry at the same time, nor can you be Grateful and Fearful simultaneously. Gratitude and thankfulness are the only antidote. You have to choose into one, so make the right choice. Declare what you’re grateful for and watch the peace that surpasses all understanding overcome you.
There is a quote in my all time favorite movie Good Will Hunting. “Sure, we will have bad days, but they will always wake you up to the good things you weren’t paying attention to.”
I know that where I am with my career isn’t where I want to be, but it’s temporary. Sometimes it’s hard to look towards the future, when the world is crashing down around you. I believe it is how we respond to these situations that we are put in, to delight the Father. Did I respond in fear, or with love and trust? That is where we have to lean on the promises of God to get us through the next day.
No matter where you are in life or what you are going through, it’s temporary. Joy comes in the morning and sometimes at a brief second in the car while on your commute. He is my joy, He is the joy. Be thankful for what you have and say it out loud. This life sure is grand.